On Change and Habits.....

I have been teaching Yoga on Zoom for over 3 years now.  The first Sunday of every month the 9a class is a decadent 90-minutes, not the usual 60. I don’t remember exactly when it started, but it’s been well over 2 years.  We have a rhythm.

Last Sunday I forgot.  I ended at 60-mins and didn’t realize until someone emailed me later.  Two+ years of this Sunday pattern disappeared.  Why didn’t the rhythm stick? Why is it so hard for me to remember?

I moved into my new apartment about 6 months ago.  I just did a little renovation on my kitchen.  Now have new stone counters (bye bye 80s Formica) and an undermount sink.  I can do that clean sweep of crumbs directly into my sink without getting caught on the old sink edge. Yet, I have a habit of pulling crumbs into my hand.  I can’t seem to automatically sweep to the sink.  Only 6 months…after prior YEARS of undermount sink sweeping patterns and the rhythm has changed.  Why did it change so effortlessly and deeply?

There are studies about habit forming, motivation and change, and a lot of guidance on how to effect continuous, lasting results. You will find plenty of research and promises of what will work; 5 steps…according to science, 4 rules, or maybe its 10 steps.  Then there is 21, 28, 59-70 days for habit formation, or the 21/90 rule - 21 days to create the habit, 90 days to make it part of your lifestyle. 

But what if you have – like me - woven deep inside you, a resistance to habit changes in some areas of your life?   I haven’t forgotten to get off at my new subway stop but I can’t awaken at the same time each day without setting an alarm.

I love to learn what motivates and moves people.  I consider it part of my job and thrive on helping people find what works for them. 

This is what I have learned…..IT DEPENDS!!!  Humans are infinitely varied so there is no one successful way.  You must know yourself. You should learn what comes easily and is joyful, or what will agitate and is an effort.  

In Ayurveda, Summer is a Pitta/Fire season.  Not only is it associated with the fullness of warmer temps and longer days, but it is also associated with change.  Fire is an alchemist.  It transforms.  It’s the burn that comes from effort, friction, or heat from that – GO GET’EM or YOU GOT THIS – desire.

This is where Yoga and mindfulness can help.  Taking time to observe and watch our reactions, cultivating the skill of observing subtleties in our thoughts and feelings, looking – with authentic accuracy – at our tendencies.  Its only when we learn where we are purposeful or conflicted, self-determined or impatient that we can begin to change.

I offer private Yoga sessions and consultations.  I also have a Summer Morning Retreat in Darien, CT on Saturday June, 10 where I, along with my friend Dr Katie will have lectures and Yoga on how to tap in to that power of transformation in each of us.

Oh, and I’m still teaching 4 Zoom classes each week – including Sundays at 9a.